How to Achieve a Mindset of Success
I’m going to do you a solid. I’m going to give you the secrets on how to achieve a mindset of success. How am I going to do that, you ask? I’m so glad you asked. I recently finished reading the 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class: The Thought Processes, Habits and Philosophies of the Great Ones by Steve Siebold. Yes, the title is a mouthful, and the number of secrets is overwhelming. I’ll admit I was skeptical - yet optimistic - that there were 177 “secrets” that would unlock all sorts of hidden potential. I’m not a betting man, but I figured there would be a few good knowledge bombs that could be gleaned and I’m happy to report to you that I was not disappointed.
While the number of secrets could have been condensed, I found this to be a very thought provoking book that provides you a roadmap on achieving the mindset of success. Here are a few of my key takeaways.
Evolve from competing to creation
A recurring theme in professional development and entrepreneurship is that failure should be viewed as a positive. This can be an extremely difficult concept for high achievers to come to terms with. A big reason for this is how many high achievers were raised - it starts with school. Many educational systems focus on memory recall and achieving a certain grade. For high achievers, straight A’s are the only option. This is not to say that we shouldn’t strive for straight A’s. However, we should avoid falling into a pit of despair when we miss an “A”, whether by a lot or a little. That feeling weighs us down and forms a weighted vest of perceived failure that only impedes future progress and, most importantly, we are robbed of reviewing the key lessons that we could have learned. Instead of attending a pity party, why not have an honest conversation with yourself about why the result was what it was? Did you miscomprehend the material? Did you study enough to understand it? Did you ask for help? Shift your perspective to what needs to be done or corrected to fix it moving forward.
That concept hits home two important quotes from this secret. First, “there is no failure - only learning and growth”. Yes, you will miss objectives - maybe by a little or maybe completely. That doesn’t make you a failure, that makes you human. The second quote, has you keep note of where you are in your timeline of life. “You live in the present. Behind you is all of the fear you had and in front of you is untapped potential.” Untapped potential...that really hits home. We often focus on the past, not from a place of learning, but from a place of regret, worry, or even shame. Shift your mindset from “I wish I could have done this, or should have done that” to “this is what I am doing to achieve my vision”. When you can free yourself of those constraints, you can evolve to create the future, your future - which ties in well with the next secret.
Be Future Oriented
The author calls out “if it is to be, it is up to me.” A topic that surfaces often in my conversations is when people aren’t sure what decision to make. That seems like nothing new, but when you view the actual opportunity costs, there often isn’t a “wrong” decision. Sure, one decision will have a different outcome than the other. This is where focusing on what the result is you’re looking to achieve is critical. If you start with the goal, or the vision, you are looking to complete, those decisions become easier to make. Because regardless of which choice you make, you then work to make the most of whatever opportunity you created. Big decisions don’t have to mark the end of a journey, it can mark the beginning of your next phase. Being future orientated is not about predicting the future, it is about creating it. Because the future is easy to predict when you create that future.
The author repeats the following statement several times through the book:
“The past is only important as it relates to the present and the future. Any mistakes in my past have been for the purpose of helping me create a beautiful future.”
So many of us dwell so much on the past. Past wrongs, past mistakes, past decisions. I find that one of the key takeaways I have from this quote is that while the past got us to where we are now, we are not bound indefinitely by those decisions. Sure, it may impact our current situation, near-term, and possibly the long-term future but we have the ability to course correct and adjust our circumstances to modify the results of past decisions. Take those past learnings and incorporate those into future decisions and actions to propel yourself towards creating that beautiful future. To start doing that, you must incorporate the next secret.
Be Congruent
Congruent - the state of being in agreement or harmony. The most successful people are the ones that are congruent with their vision, their habits, and their behaviors. Greatness starts with a clear and vivid picture of what you are creating. When you have that north star, you build the habits that will get you there. Whether that is getting up early in the morning to workout so you can achieve the health you are looking for or setting dedicated study time on your calendar to ensure you are comprehending the material. All great things start with great habits. Those habits create action, they create results. When an action is repeated through habits, they create learned behaviors. A positive behavior is a power tool to have when you are attempting to accomplish your goals.
What happens too often though is when small hiccups in the patterns emerge. Like a tiny vibration, they can start little but given enough repetition, the vibration grows stronger until the structure collapses. When your habits, your actions, or your behaviors are not congruent with the vision you set out, then your goal line moves further and further away. You automatically veer off course - there is no auto-pilot, there is only you. So when you identify that the harmony has broken, you have two choices:
Upgrade your habits, actions, and behaviors.
or…
Downgrade the size and scope of your vision.
Now if the problem is you, then the first option is the natural choice. Upgrade your habits, actions, and behaviors and you’ll start seeing results. If you are looking to terraform a planet like Elon Musk, that’s a different story. I don’t like saying that you need to downgrade the total size and scope of your vision because I believe there is another option. Know what the ultimate vision is, but downgrade the current size and scope of your mission into smaller components or stepping stones. Just as I outlined in my blog post on lessons I learned from climbing, break the problem down into smaller components so you have your checkpoints along the way, always navigating with your North Star in mind. For Elon Musk, that meant first creating reusable rockets. Then launching a car into space. Then launching astronauts into space. There will be a series of smaller wins - with many more failures - in place before you terraform a planet. The key here is that you can have a large, grandiose vision but ensure that you aren’t starting at the finish line - plot the course and keep achieving until you can expand. To accomplish the impossible, I feel that the next secret is critical.
Embrace Non-Linear Thinking
I will confess, I hate the term “thinking outside of the box.” While it has its merits, I never felt it really did justice to what the ultimate goal was - to escape conventional thinking and conformity. And I don’t believe that conformity is best described as living in a box. We are all progressing in a linear fashion. We live in our habits, we know the rules that have been prescribed, and if a parameter falls out of place of those limits, we get angry and then just move on, staying as close to the line as possible.
Non-linear thinking does not follow a straight line or sequence. It is not a check-list. It is making connections between unrelated topics or ideas. It is drawing lessons from one field and adopting them into a different perspective. I find that you can break the linear thinking model with a simple question. As outlined in the book, when someone responds that something is impossible - do not make that the end of the conversation. Your first reply should be, “Yes, it is impossible. But if it were possible, how would it be done?” Let’s revisit Elon Musk. How many people told him that reusable rockets were a waste and it couldn’t be accomplished? That he would never be able to collect the rocket to refurbish it. Well, what if we could recollect a rocket? How could we do it? Those questions can lead down a serious rabbit hole, but one you bring a very long ladder into so that you can collect all of the ideas and thought experiments and reemerge with a new perspective. That follows another secret the author highlights of being happily dissatisfied. I love this concept because it highlights how you should continuously raise your level of expectations and beliefs. When combined with non-linear thinking, the possibilities could be limitless.
Yet with most things, there are cautionary tales. I found that the last secret I’ll share from the book, on evolving your mindset from success to significance, serves as a governor to protect you from tunnel vision on an objective. Many high achievers become fixated on their goals and they lose sight of the broader good they can be providing - success at all costs.
Evolve from Success to Significance
This last secret hit home with me because I place a heavy emphasis on character and integrity. I have given up many opportunities that could have rewarded me very well because I felt the rewards for me were not proportional to the impact I could have on others. Said another way, I could help a small subset of people financially but the larger community would not lift in lockstep. Perhaps that’s why this secret resonated so much with me when I read it.
The more significance, or impact, we create in the lives of others, provides more fulfillment for you. The more fulfillment you experience, the more you will invest into others. This creates the coveted flywheel effect where the more you put in, the stronger the process works, and the more output you can achieve. This goes for the goal you are working to achieve to the people you are working with. As I outlined in my blog on my path to leadership, your success as a leader is when the people you mentor become better than you. That is a mindset of significance, not success. It’s why the author has another secret highlighting that you should always praise people lavishly and often. He states, “Kind words cost you nothing yet accomplish so much.”
Be at Peace with Yourself
I know, I said the previous secret was the last one - consider this a bonus. I’m at peace with myself for changing my mind - as should you. This secret is especially true for younger professionals. Being at peace with yourself is a state of mind. I’ve talked with many people who have had lofty goals and great plans to accomplish those goals. When I ask, what are you going to do after you accomplish that? They respond by saying “I’ll be happy”...if only it were that simple. As I reflect back on my journey, I realized I had a habit of setting a goal and working tirelessly to achieve it, only to reach that goal and feel lost. I did it!...now what? I felt happy, but that was brief. I had never thought to plan beyond that goal and had never thought to appreciate the journey as it happened.
I feel that this secret aims to say that happiness is not an event - it’s a state of mind. And while “success”, however you define it, may be an event or apogee, if the state of mind you are in when you reach that point does embody peace and happiness, it could be for nothing. Instead, what if you incorporate your peace and happiness into the process of obtaining your goals? We don’t have to live in a world where the dichotomy is success or failure. For me, success is living in the journey (the present), building a life where I can consistently have a positive impact on others (significance), and ensuring that I can think past what’s possible to achieve the prior two (non-linear thinking). I encourage you to try the same.
-Jason Rebholz